we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
