i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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