There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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