Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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