I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
