Pappa wants mamma naked
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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