awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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