you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
