Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
