my mouth tastes like poor choices
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
