I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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