I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
