Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
