I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize