idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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