Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just blew my weed a kiss
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
