I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
