Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
