i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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