Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
