I'm really into asian looking animals
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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