no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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