I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
