Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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