Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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