i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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