apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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