i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
