there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
