i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
