what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
