Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize