Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize