This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize