CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
