porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
