i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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