he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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