This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
