my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
