They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
