watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
