YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
