$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
