You're my little dorito
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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