remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
