in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
