Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
