I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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