I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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