I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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