Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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