i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
