the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize