Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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