My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
