I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
