i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
