Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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