Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
