Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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