you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
