Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
